


Pretty. Beautiful. Sickening.

by loeysxdaisies



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Explicit Drug Use, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of drugs, Non graphic smut, explicit use of alcohol, mentions of domestic violence, mentions of past sexual harassment, mostly angst, shitty home lives, this is really heavy okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 03:29:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17738150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loeysxdaisies/pseuds/loeysxdaisies
Summary: Baekhyun only likes it when Chanyeol calls him any variation of the word "pretty." Chanyeol's never made him feel anything but loved after such a shit history with the word.Whenever anyone else calls him pretty it's like sand in his mouth and poison in his veins.How is he still alive?





	Pretty. Beautiful. Sickening.

**Author's Note:**

> this is some heavy shit guys. like,,,heavy
> 
> it has mentions of domestic violence and sexual harassment and shitty home life and being poor and having no opportunities and still managing to find love through it all.
> 
> i think i've hit everything here for a warning but if i've missed something PLEASE let me know.
> 
> i listened to rita ora's "let you love me" almost the entire time i wrote this (literally,,,on repeat for HOURS) so i'd maybe recommend putting the song with the story it kind of gives off the angsty/find-love-wherever-you-can vibe i'm going for here.
> 
> loosely based off this tweetfic i wrote (it has the same characters in the same circumstances and it's fairly short i'd recommend reading it before reading this is you can/haven't already!! (([lucky](https://twitter.com/daisy_dreamuses/status/1087472846002184195)))

_“Baekhyun!”_

Baekhyun braces himself as the littles—Jongin and Sehun, specifically—come barreling into him the second he’s within eyesight, leaving the rest of their friend group behind at the lockers to greet him.

“Hello, _hello_ , good morning.” Baekhyun takes both of them in his arms with a laugh. He squeezes them once before letting go and stepping back, looking over the two of them. “How was your night?”

“Not bad,” Sehun reassures him with a smile. Jongin nods in agreement and Baekhyun cups both of their chins one at a time, turning their faces back and forth to check them over.

“Nothing new?”

All he can see is the rest of the leftover cut above Sehun’s eyebrow and the bruising on Jongin’s throat from yesterday.

“We got home after everyone was already in bed.”

 _“Boys!”_ Baekhyun looks at them and shakes his head, sighing. “You’re going to be in trouble—your curfew. You can’t  _break_ it.”

“It’s okay.” Jongin wraps his arms around Baekhyun. “You’ll clean us up, right?”

“Of course I will,” Baekhyun wraps an arm around each of their waists and they all walk over to the friends Sehun and Jongin had abandoned in their excitement. “But can’t you at least _try_ to be more careful?”

“They don’t listen to me, why would they listen to you?” Chanyeol tosses from where he’d been leaning against the lockers, arms crossed cockily over his chest.

“They won’t listen to someone in the same position as them because you refuse to take your own advice.” Baekhyun pushes between the littles and walks right into Chanyeol’s arms as his boyfriend wraps him up, Baekhyun’s face in his chest, and kisses his head. “Hi.”

“Good morning, baby.” Chanyeol hooks Baekhyun’s chin and lifts it so that he can greet him properly, kissing him a couple times with a smile. Baekhyun pushes up on his toes, wrapping his arms around Chanyeol’s shoulders to get closer as they both ignore the jeering of their friends around them to _“quit with the PDA, for god’s sake, there are_ children  _here!”_

Baekhyun flattens back on his heels and gently turns Chanyeol’s head to the side, inspecting his cheek. “Is it feeling better?”

“It is.” Chanyeol takes Baekhyun’s wrist and presses a kiss to his palm, pulling his hand away from his face. “I’m okay, baby, promise.”

“And your mom is…”

“Safe,” Chanyeol promises. “He took off a couple nights ago, haven’t heard from him since.”

“Good.” Baekhyun raises up and presses a soft kiss to the exposed skin of Chanyeol’s neck. “I’m glad.”

Chanyeol’s arms tighten around him. “Me too.”

Baekhyun turns around so his back is against the lockers and Chanyeol’s arm stays protectively over his shoulder as he looks over each of his friends and then around the hallway.

Jongdae looks the same as he did the last time he’d been at school a couple of days ago. Kyungsoo has a new scrape on his left temple but he knows how to treat himself, so Baekhyun isn’t worried.

Down the hall, a fight has broken out and the six ignore it as teachers rush to split the two parties up. They’re dragged kicking and screaming away from each other and Baekhyun rolls his eyes.

Shit’s bad enough as it is—why do people have to make _school_ , the one place that most of these people are really safe, just as bad as the rest of the world?

It’s  _bullshit._

A couple of the guys are dragged down passed their little friend group and Chanyeol’s arm tightens around Baekhyun’s shoulder, tucking him almost behind him as his eyes narrow and he glares— _daring_ someone to try something.

No one ever messes with him, though. No one would win.

No one wants to try against the guy who’s been arrested multiple times for beating the shit out of his _ass_ of a stepdad, because for every time Chanyeol’s been arrested his stepdad’s ended up in the hospital.

Baekhyun’s hand raises to grab Chanyeol’s that’s over his shoulder and he kisses it softly, relaxing his boyfriend.

“It’s okay, ‘Yeol.” Baekhyun turns and murmurs into Chanyeol’s neck. “Calm down, it’s okay.”

Chanyeol sends one more sort of…well, _growl_ in their direction and then he turns back to Baekhyun, guiding him so his back is now to the lockers, backpack at his feet, with Chanyeol’s forearms on either side of his head.

“I just want to keep you safe.” One of Chanyeol’s arms falls and he takes Baekhyun’s hand, lacing their fingers together gently. “You’re my _one_ priority here. You’re the only one keeping me sane at this point.”

“I know I am.” Baekhyun loops his free arm around Chanyeol’s neck and pulls him down until their noses are brushing. “And that’s why I’m here doing _this_. To keep you from killing anyone.”

Chanyeol smiles warmly and nudges their noses together before closing the distance between their lips.

These aren’t the innocent pecks from earlier.

These are possessive _this-one’s-mine-back-off_ , _no-one-touch-him_ kind of kisses that should be much too raunchy for a school hallway—but this is the South Side. Nothing’s _too raunchy_ for this mess of a school.

Chanyeol’s hand releases Baekhyun’s to wrap around his lower back, pulling their hips flush together. Baekhyun, in turn, fists Chanyeol’s jacket and meets every press of his lips with his own—just as rough and needy.

They haven’t kissed in, like, 18 hours.

This is absolutely necessary for Chanyeol to _not_ kill anyone in his first period.

“You guys are _disgusting.”_ Jongdae snaps, rolling his eyes. “I don’t even want to think about what’s happened around those lockers.”

“You think someone’s fucked in them?” Sehun asks, one eyebrow raising.

“Maybe someone’s died in there.” Jongin takes the other point of view.

“I’m going to light my hair on fire.” Shaved-headed Kyungsoo says, completely serious with a straight face, eyes on the couple.

“That’s nice, Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun breathes out, head back against the lockers as Chanyeol works his way down his neck.

His eyes are shut and one hand tangles in Chanyeol’s hair as the four others watch in mild disgust and amazement.

“I can’t believe they’re _this_ close to fucking in the hallway,” Sehun mutters incredulously. “Holy shit.”

“They must not have fucked yesterday,” Jongdae reasons, shaking his head. “That’s the only explanation.”

Right then the bell rings and the teachers are back, pulling kids off of each other and demanding that they head to their first period for the day.

The four friends simply walk away, leaving the teachers to deal with their horny friends as they head to class.

Chanyeol ignores the chaos around them and stands up, breathing slightly heavy and lips red. “Have I told you how amazing you look today?”

Baekhyun’s own irritated lips curve up and he tilts his chin up, meeting Chanyeol’s affectionate gaze. “No.”

Chanyeol’s told him time and again how his very first thought upon laying his eyes on Baekhyun was how _pretty_ he was— _is._ Chanyeol’s adored him ever since, adored his softness and his love and his beauty.

Baekhyun used to _hate_ the word pretty—the kids at school used to use it to invalidate him, in a way, to feminize him. Make him feel like he was worth less than them, like he didn’t get a say and he had to listen to them—they used that word when they’d _touch_ him.

Even his tears, they said, were so pretty.

And the boys around here love pretty things.

But then Chanyeol came around, calling him pretty and then _beautiful_ and all sorts of other things that didn’t make Baekhyun feel gross and sick and used and Baekhyun opened up.

He has a thicker figure than most boys his age.

He has softer features than most boys his age.

Chanyeol reminded him that that’s okay—he loves him the same as he would if he looked like Kyungsoo (he’s incredibly grateful that he doesn’t).

“Well, you do.” Baekhyun’s eyes flicker shut and Chanyeol kisses over his eyelids. “You always look beautiful, sunshine, but today you’re radiating.”

“It’s this effect you have on me.” Baekhyun cups Chanyeol’s cheeks and kisses him again. “I can’t help it.”

“I guess I’ll just have to stay with you, then.”

“I’m not complaining.”

 _“Park!”_ Chanyeol lets out a groan and turns around, not happy that he was interrupted within an inch of Baekhyun’s lips. “Go to class.”

Chanyeol blinks. “What if I don’t want to?”

“Doesn’t your boyfriend?”

“Not particularly.” Baekhyun pipes up, one hand settling lightly on Chanyeol’s neck as his lips attach to the other side and he kisses the soft skin. “I’m good right here.”

“If you didn’t want to go to class you shouldn’t have even shown up.” The teacher sighs, exasperated and tired. “But you’re here. Go to class or it’s detention all next week.”

“An hour a day alone in a room with you?” Chanyeol turns his head to Baekhyun with a smile. “I’ll take the detention.”

Baekhyun lets out a soft chuckle before Chanyeol seals their lips together again, pressing him against the lockers, perfectly content to make out here in the now empty hallway for the first hour of the day.

“Your detentions will be _alone.”_

Chanyeol groans again, forehead dropping to Baekhyun’s shoulder who sighs.

“Park?”

“I’ll get him to class.” Baekhyun meets the teacher’s eyes over Chanyeol’s shoulder and the teacher nods, disappearing back into her classroom. Even the school staff knows that Chanyeol only ever listens to his boyfriend—anyone else trying to tell him to do anything is a lost cause.

“Why did you say that?” Chanyeol stands back up and runs a hand through his hair. “Do you _really_ want to go to class?”

“No.” Baekhyun smoothes Chanyeol’s jacket down from where he’d been fisting it and looks up. “But we need to at least graduate. Two more absences this month and you’ll be on probation.”

“Forced no school?” Chanyeol kisses Baekhyun, his chin still upturned to look at him. “I don’t see the problem.”

Baekhyun indulges him for a minute and then pushes him back. “The _problem_ is that you’d be put in extra school this summer and you won’t be graduating with the rest of us.”

“Jongdae’s already on probation.”

“And you really want to end up like Jongdae?”

“He’s rich.”

“He sells drugs to major gangs on a daily basis and mysteriously disappears for days at a time, turning back up with broken bones and no money to go to the hospital to get them treated. That’s the life you want to live?” Baekhyun snaps, picking up his backpack. “Fine. That’s on you. But don’t expect me to come scouring every hospital when you stop calling me because you fucked up and someone sawed your arm off—”

“Okay, okay.” Chanyeol grabs Baekhyun’s arm as his boyfriend starts to walk away. “I’ll go to class. Happy?”

Baekhyun smiles. “Yeah. Thank you.”

Chanyeol grumbles and rolls his eyes, pulling Baekhyun back for one more kiss. “I’ll see you at lunch?”

Baekhyun nods and kisses Chanyeol one more time before walking towards his first class of the day. “I love you,” he walks backward so he can watch and make sure Chanyeol does actually go to his class.

Chanyeol sighs. “Yeah, yeah, love you too.”

Baekhyun lets out a laugh and Chanyeol turns around so Baekhyun can’t see his smile as he walks to his own class.

 

* * *

 

“Really, Mrs. Park, I’m alright.”

 _"Bye_ , mom.” Chanyeol clamps a hand down on Baekhyun’s shoulder, pulling him back into his bedroom.

“Let me know if you boys need anything.” Mrs. Park (she still goes by her late first husband’s last name when her new husband isn’t around—she likes it better) calls down the hallway. “I’ll leave a couple dollars on the counter for dinner since I have work.”

“You really don’t have to do that.” Baekhyun elbows Chanyeol in the side to get him to let go, wanting to properly thank Mrs. Park for her kindness. Everything she’s been through with her old and new husband and she’s still so sweet. “We’ll figure something out.”

Chanyeol leans back against the wall with an exaggerated groan.

Mrs. Park ignores them both and thumbs through her wallet, pulling a 10 out and setting it on the counter. “It’s not much, but bills are due next week, and—”

“It’s more than enough,” Baekhyun assures her. “Have a nice shift.”

“You boys have a nice night.” Mrs. Park puts her apron and her wallet in her purse. “And, uh, use protection.”

 _“Bye mom,”_ Chanyeol repeats over Baekhyun’s laughter, grabbing his backpack handle and pulling him into his room. He shoves Baekhyun inside but then pokes his head back out of the room, calling a final “call me if you need anything, okay?”

Baekhyun drops his backpack and sits on Chanyeol’s bed, watching his mom come up and cup his cheek to kiss it softly.

“I will.” She pats it with a smile. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” Chanyeol watches her leave until the front door locks and then he shuts his door, locking it, too, out of habit.

“Alone at last?” Baekhyun raises his eyebrows and Chanyeol falls onto the bed with a groan, head landing right on Baekhyun’s plush thighs.

“Something like that.” He rolls until he’s comfortable on his back and Baekhyun plays with his hair.

“Your mom looks good.”

“She’s not doing her makeup so heavy now that the bruises are starting to fade,” Chanyeol explains softly. “And I think she slept through the night last night.”

Baekhyun hums. “How long has he been gone now?”

“Thirteen days.” Chanyeol’s voice is slurred—he’s starting to fall asleep, pliant and relaxed under Baekhyun fingers in his hair and scratching his head. “I’m starting to think he’s not coming back.”

Baekhyun studies Chanyeol’s face as his boyfriend’s eyes flutter closed. His bruise is nearly gone, now, but the bags under his eyes are more obvious now that he’s on his back and there are no shadows to hide them. “How much have _you_ been sleeping?”

“I got maybe…two hours last night?” Chanyeol’s arm wraps around Baekhyun’s waist and he turns his head to the side, nuzzling at his shirt.

It’s actually not his shirt—it’s Chanyeol’s.

“That’s not good for you, love.” Baekhyun chastises, voice barely above a whisper.

“I know.” Chanyeol lets out a breath, fingers slipping under Baekhyun’s shirt and drawing little designs onto the soft, pale skin of his back. “I don’t want him to come in while I’m asleep and do something to Mom, though.”

“That’s very noble of you.” Baekhyun smiles. “But you still need to sleep.”

“I can’t risk it.” Chanyeol forces his tired eyes open and his gaze focuses on Baekhyun. “I’m not letting him hurt her again.”

“Well, I’m here now.” Baekhyun’s hand turns Chanyeol so he’s facing his waist again and then resumes playing with his hair. “I’ll wake you if anything happens but get at least _some_ sleep.”

“But—”

“Don’t argue with me. You’re practically sleep talking.” Baekhyun kisses Chanyeol’s hairline. “Please?”

“You’ll wake me…”

“If anything happens, yes,” Baekhyun promises. “Until then just sleep, okay? Just for a little while.”

Chanyeol blinks slowly once and then lets out a breath, settling in and relaxing on Baekhyun’s thighs. “Get comfy, then, sunshine. I don’t know when I’ll be up again.”

Baekhyun leans back against the wall after grabbing the blanket bundled at the edge of the bed and throwing it over Chanyeol. “Sleep as long as you need.”

Chanyeol hums, nose darting forward to nuzzle Baekhyun’s waist again. “How did I get so lucky?” He mumbles. “You’re so fucking beautiful, baby, inside _and_ out.”

Baekhyun smiles, biting his bottom lip. _“Sleep_ , love. Come on.”

Chanyeol kisses his waist before allowing himself to finally, _finally_ doze off.

Baekhyun’s hand never stops playing with his hair and he keeps his ears perked, listening for the sound of an old drunk bastard stumbling in the front door. Or the window.

 

* * *

 

 _“There_ you are.”

“Took you long enough!”

“Shut up, assholes.” Baekhyun throws his backpack with the others and drops to his hands and knees, crawling under the low metal bar to get into their group’s little hiding place under the bleachers in the shitty gym. “I had _class,_ okay.”

“Who were you with?”

“Moon.”

 _“Oh.”_ Kyungsoo crinkles his nose. “Gross. Are you doing that graph shit?”

“Same shit we’ve been doing for weeks.” Baekhyun accepts a freshly-rolled blunt from Jongdae and takes a drag. “Oh, this is what I fucking needed.” He hands it back to Jongdae since they don’t have enough for everyone to have their own and tilts his head back, letting out the smoke and watching it swirl up the rafters.

“Hey, sunshine.” Chanyeol holds his right arm up and Baekhyun shifts over, curling under it. He lets Chanyeol angle his head into a kiss, tasting that twisted sort of sweetness from the weed. Chanyeol must have gotten out of class early—or he just walked out, which he's been prone to do.

“Hi.” Baekhyun plucks the blunt from Chanyeol’s fingers and takes another drag. “Been here long?”

“Kim got frustrated and walked out again, so I just left.” Chanyeol opens his mouth and Baekhyun holds the blunt to it long enough for Chanyeol to take a deep drag. Already sort of high, Chanyeol pins Baekhyun’s chin between his thumb and forefinger and leans forward to kiss him again, pushing the smoke into his mouth.

Baekhyun breathes in as he does—this is something they do a _lot_ —and then breathes out what little smoke hadn’t been taken in by the two of them, head lolling back on Chanyeol’s bicep.

He lets out a soft laugh, watching the littles fight over their blunt _("_ _You had it last." "No! You! It's my turn!")_  while Chanyeol lazily plays with his hair. Jongdae and Kyungsoo are calmer, passing their blunt back and forth every other drag and talking.

Baekhyun normally would’ve been upset that Chanyeol had already smoked half their roll but the air is so fucking _thick_ with the shit that simply breathing is getting him high, just without the fun part.

Chanyeol takes another drag and grabs his chin again and Baekhyun goes pliant, allowing Chanyeol to breathe half the smoke into his mouth. He holds his breath and then lets it out and then pulls Chanyeol into another kiss, movements slow and lazy. They stay down there, hidden, through the next couple of periods until the bell rings to signal the end of the day.

Sometimes they all talk and interact as a group but for the most part, each pair is sort of in their own world as they smoke. Baekhyun is vaguely aware of Jongdae branching off first, saying he has a run to do for his dad, and then the littles head out to go walk the weed out of their systems before going back home, and then Kyungsoo leaves just because he doesn’t want to be a third wheel.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun stay under the bleachers even after Kyungsoo’s long gone, first just talking and then Baekhyun ends up straddling Chanyeol’s thighs, making out as their highs wear off.

Chanyeol palms his ass and Baekhyun lets out another laugh, hips rolling lazily with no other intention than just to not sit still anymore.

Baekhyun drops his lips to Chanyeol’s neck and Chanyeol tilts his head back against the cold wall, chuckling because that _tickles._

“Does it?” Baekhyun sits up, breathless, and smiles. “It only tickles when you’re high, did you realize that?”

“I  _know_ —otherwise it feels _great.”_ Chanyeol smiles at him. He cups his cheeks, smile softening. “You’re so pretty.”

Baekhyun blinks a couple times, caught off guard. “I—no I’m not.” His cheeks heat up. “Stop it.”

“You  _are,”_ Chanyeol says again. “It’s not a bad thing. It doesn’t make you any less who you are.”

Baekhyun bites his bottom lip to keep his smile down. “I know. You keep telling me that.”

“And I’ll keep telling you until you _believe_ it.” Chanyeol runs a hand through Baekhyun’s hair and along his jaw to cup his chin, leaning in to kiss him again. “Because I love you.”

Baekhyun loops both his arms around Chanyeol’s neck and shifts forward, their fronts brushing, and he smiles. “I love you too.”

Chanyeol kisses him, unhurried and lazy because of the weed still in his system and his secret knowledge that the janitors are just as stupid and lazy as the students, and they never check for stragglers nor do they lock the doors.

They have all night.

 

* * *

 

“What would happen if we just…left?” Baekhyun whispers, not wanting to break the serene atmosphere.

Chanyeol is behind him, his chest to Baekhyun’s back, and when he hums Baekhyun can feel the vibrations in his whole body. Chanyeol’s arms tighten around his waist. “Left?”

“You know.” Baekhyun’s head falls back against Chanyeol’s shoulder and he looks up at the lightening sky. They haven’t slept yet, not wanting to go back home. Chanyeol had texted his mom that he was with Baekhyun and Baekhyun had told his brother that he was out with Chanyeol and that was the end of that—because both of their phones died. “Left. Got on a bus and rode it to the end of the line and got off and never looked back.”

“We wouldn’t graduate.” Chanyeol murmurs. His hands snake under Baekhyun’s shirt and splay over his abdomen. They feel slightly damp, the dew from the grass near the bridge covering them but Baekhyun doesn’t really care. “Don’t you want to graduate?”

“I don’t care anymore,” Baekhyun responds softly. “There’s no point. There’s no life for people like us out there.”

“What changed?” Chanyeol’s head drops and as he speaks his lips brush the shell of Baekhyun’s ear. “You used to be so set on us graduating and getting our degrees and getting out of here—it was earlier this week you were lecturing me on my attendance.”

Baekhyun shakes his head and takes a deep breath. “I saw one of the counselors today to talk about my options.”

“Oh?” They’re seniors, which means they each have to go through a mandatory counseling session to look at their GPA and what they want to do and, okay, here’s how you can get there. “Did it not go well?”

“No, it…it did.” Baekhyun closes his eyes and swallows thickly. “My grades are high enough that I can apply for a few scholarships for Young—that four-year university an hour north, you know the one?”

“I  _do_ know the one.” Chanyeol’s heart swells with pride. Baekhyun can _get out._ “Baek, that’s great! That’s so great, baby, what’s wrong?”

Baekhyun turns his head so his forehead rests in the crook of Chanyeol’s neck. “It’s still so expensive. She was in there getting _so_ excited because apparently, I’m one of the only ones from our year whose grades are high enough to talk about this with but…but I’d still have to pay for housing and my books and the scholarships I _do_ qualify for don’t cover all of the tuition.”

“And you don’t have anything saved up, do you?”

Baekhyun shakes his head. “I never worked because they wanted me to focus on my grades, and we’re living paycheck to paycheck as it is. There’s no extra money for me.”

Chanyeol stays quiet. He understands the limitations of money for people like them all too well.

“Besides, you wouldn’t be there with me, so I don’t even want to _consider_ it as an option.”

Chanyeol lets out a breath. “Sunshine, you can’t live your life by what _I_ can and can’t do. You have this amazing opportunity and if it works out you need to take it.”

“No.” Baekhyun shakes his head again. “No, we agreed that when we left this shitty town we’d leave _together_. I’m not going without you.”

“Baekhyun.”

“I’m  _not.”_ Baekhyun sits up, breaking out of Chanyeol’s hold. His voice rises enough that it echoes under the bridge to their right and a couple birds take off further down the little creek, startled by the sudden volume. “I’m not _leaving_ you.”

He runs both hands through his hair and drops his head, curling in on himself, forehead on his knees. “I can’t _leave_ you, Chanyeol. That’s not right.”

“Hey.” Chanyeol encases Baekhyun and pulls him back into his lap, wrapping him tightly in his arms. “Is something else going on?”

Chanyeol  _knows_ Baekhyun so well it’s almost scary.

“Money’s tighter than usual.” Baekhyun’s hand finds the little metal chain Chanyeol wears around his neck and he runs the little charm through his fingers. “Baekbeom’s leaving.”

“Leaving?”

“He met a girl.” Baekhyun’s voice is bitter. “A nice, trophy girl who lives on the other side of town where people have houses and warm water and fences around their yards and codes on their garages and—and he’s _leaving._ For her.”

“Are you going to miss him?”

“Of course I am.”

“Are you jealous that he’s getting out?”

 _“Of course_ I am.” Baekhyun sighs. “I mean, I’m happy that at least _he_ has a chance at a real life. But I—I don’t know what’s going to happen to _us._ I heard Mom and Dad the other night and Mom thinks we’re going to lose the house. They’re already making plans to move in with her sister.”

“You’d leave?”

“I don’t want to.” Baekhyun’s breath ghosts over Chanyeol’s neck as he talks. “I want to stay here, with you. And with Sehun and Jongin and Kyungsoo and Jongdae. I want to _stay.”_

“You could come live with me and Mom if this is a thing that actually happens,” Chanyeol says softly. “You know you’re always welcome, and Mom loves you.”

“I don’t want to be a burden.”

 _“Hey.”_ Chanyeol hooks Baekhyun’s chin and tilts it up, looking through his glassy eyes. “You’re not a burden. You’re _never_ a burden to me, Baekhyun, you _know_ that.”

“Money’s so tight everywhere, though.”

“We’d make it work.” Chanyeol brushes Baekhyun’s concern off. “We would. For you, we’d figure something out, I promise.”

Baekhyun’s smile is small but it’s there, and his skin is bright under the dewiness of the morning and his eyes are shining with unshed tears under the brightening sky and Chanyeol kisses him because he’s never looked more beautiful.

“I don’t want to leave you.” Baekhyun mouths against Chanyeol’s lips, hands wrapped around Chanyeol’s neck and linked at the back. “You’re all I’ve _got_ , Chanyeol.”

“I know.” Chanyeol’s hands splay over Baekhyun’s thighs and they manage to coax them open and then, somehow, Baekhyun ends up straddling Chanyeol’s thighs as they kiss.

Baekhyun is trembling slightly, and Chanyeol can’t tell if it’s aftermath of their conversation or if it’s because of the early morning cold so he strips out of his jacket and drapes it over Baekhyun’s shoulders, holding it until his boyfriend slips his arms in the proper holes and then Baekhyun is kissing him again, kissing him so hard that he lays down.

His back is getting wet from the dew but he doesn’t care—nothing matters but Baekhyun’s lips on his and his hands settle in the dip of Baekhyun’s back, worming back under his shirt.

Baekhyun lets out the softest of moans into his mouth and one of his forearms hits the ground next to Chanyeol’s head, legs on either side of Chanyeol’s waist as he dips his tongue into his boyfriend’s mouth over and over again, tracing over every part he has memorized and learning every part that he doesn’t.

“The sun’s coming up.” Chanyeol murmurs when they pull apart for a breather and Baekhyun sits up after one final kiss to Chanyeol’s lips and he looks to the side.

Chanyeol props up on his elbow, one arm still around Baekhyun’s back, and Baekhyun shifts back until Chanyeol has enough room to sit all the way up.

They’re silent as the sun comes up and all the seemingly muted colors from earlier brighten. The sky shifts from the soft pinks and purples into a steadier blue as it settles for the day.

“It never fails to amaze me,” Baekhyun whispers as he looks around. “How gorgeous it all is.”

“You’re the most gorgeous of it all,” Chanyeol whispers back. He leans forward to kiss Baekhyun’s collarbone and Baekhyun’s hands find his head, one around his neck and the other tangling in his hair as Chanyeol kisses the skin over and over.

Baekhyun laughs as Chanyeol kisses the _one_ ticklish spot under his jaw, tilting his head back and laughing to the bright sky.

Chanyeol is forever awestruck at Baekhyun—at everything about Baekhyun.

“Beautiful,” Chanyeol says, arm tight and warm around Baekhyun’s back. Protective.

Loving.

“So beautiful.”

 

* * *

 

“H-holy shit.” Baekhyun stutters through his heavy breaths, fingernails scraping down Chanyeol’s back. “Holy  _shit_ , Chanyeol, right there.”

Mrs. Park isn’t home which means that Baekhyun can be as loud as he likes.

“Yeah?” Chanyeol’s hand wraps around Baekhyun’s hip _hard_. “Like that?”

Baekhyun chokes as Chanyeol digs his knees under his thighs to change the angle, pistoning in and out of him in a way that feels so  _good so good Chanyeol fuck._ “Yes— _god_ yes just like that.”

Chanyeol drops to his forearms and Baekhyun’s legs wrap around his waist, pulling him closer and deeper with each thrust. He’s sweating and _hot it’s so hot_ and his grip on Chanyeol’s shoulders has to be _painful_ at this point but Chanyeol’s just gritting his teeth and grunting lowly in his ear as he continues positively _wrecking_ Baekhyun.

“Fuck—fuck  _fuck_ Chanyeol that’s it I’m going to fucking _come_ Chanyeol god—” One of Baekhyun’s hands drops to jack himself off in time with Chanyeol’s thrusts and then he’s coming hotly between them with a loud cry of Chanyeol’s name, legs squeezing Chanyeol’s waist and head falling back against the bed as his eyes go glassy.

Chanyeol comes a few thrusts later, spilling into the condom with a deep groan of _Baekhyun’s_ name before he collapses on top of his boyfriend.

“God.” Chanyeol pants. “God, you’re so _fucking_ hot, baby.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.” Baekhyun murmurs, grabbing a handful of Chanyeol’s hair and angling his head for a kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Chanyeol kisses him again, smiling. “So fucking _much.”_

He kisses him one more time before pulling out of Baekhyun, one hand at the base of the condom so he doesn’t make a mess, and then he ties it off while Baekhyun slips Chanyeol’s shirt on from earlier and darts to the bathroom across the hall on shaky legs.

They know how to clean up quickly—who knows when someone may get home and they’ll need to duck out through the window—but since Chanyeol’s stepdad hasn’t been back in nearly a month now they give themselves the freedom to _not_ get dressed tonight and they slip in bed together, Baekhyun closer to the wall and right under the window.

Their legs tangle together automatically and Baekhyun tucks himself under Chanyeol’s arm, head in the divot of his shoulder as he looks out the window and counts the stars—or, well, attempts to.

Chanyeol’s hand finds his hair and he brushes through it, looking at his boyfriend’s eyes that are lit up by the thousands of stars outside the window.

 _Beautiful_.

There’s nothing, absolutely nothing, about Baekhyun that isn’t pure beauty.

One of Baekhyun’s hands raises and he covers the full moon from his vision, fingers splayed open and Chanyeol lifts up his own hand, encasing Baekhyun’s in it and pulling it down to press a kiss to its palm.

Baekhyun’s head turn and his eyes—his bright, beautiful eyes—fix on Chanyeol as a soft smile overtakes his face.

Chanyeol smiles back and wraps his arm that’s still holding Baekhyun tighter around his back so Baekhyun has to turn on his side and he curls around Chanyeol. He kisses his chest and Chanyeol kisses his forehead in response.

“You’re beautiful.” Chanyeol whispers, one-hundred percent love and adoration and sincerity in his voice. His other arm comes up and he rolls Baekhyun completely on his chest, holding him tightly.

Baekhyun props his chin on Chanyeol’s sternum and reaches up to brush a strand of his hair back, tracing down his hairline and over his ear all the way along his jaw. He doesn’t say anything, just smiles, and then he kisses Chanyeol’s shoulder before getting comfortable.

His breaths span over Chanyeol’s neck as he falls asleep and Chanyeol holds him tight, counting the stars until his eyes fall shut.

 

* * *

 

“You have to understand, Baekhyun, he’s under…a lot of stress right now.”

 _“Nothing’s working out right! All the fucking work I do and_ nothing  _works!”_

“Money’s tight, sweetheart, you know that.”

 _“The one real son I had fucking up and left with that Barbie whore and the one I’m stuck with is too…_ pretty  _to be anything real. Is he even a boy anymore? He’s gay, isn’t he?”_

Baekhyun winces—the antiseptic is cold. “Has he hit you too?”

 _“Get the fuck out—if you can’t work to stay here then just_ leave _.”_

His mother smiles sadly. “Just a couple times. Like I said, he’s under a lot of stress.”

_“Haejoon, please, he’s still a kid. Leave him alone and let’s go back and talk about this, okay? Just us. Baekhyun, sweetheart—go to your room, please.”_

“I didn’t know he hit you.” Baekhyun looks at the first aid kit he’d pulled out of  _his own_ backpack—the kit he usually uses on Sehun and Jongin and Kyungsoo and Jongdae and Chanyeol—and watches his mom’s hands as she pulls a cream out and begins reading the label. “No, use the one with the blue sticker.”

_“Haejoon, honey just—put the bottle down, okay? It’s okay, let’s go talk. Just give me the bottle.”_

_“Are you even a_ man?  _You’re so. Fucking. Pretty.”_

“I think he’s calmed down, now. I can’t hear him anymore.” His mom mutters as she begins spreading the cream over the cut on Baekhyun’s forehead—an ugly cut that goes from his forehead down his eyebrow, narrowly missing his eye, and ends above the apple of his cheek.

“Why did he do that?” Chanyeol’s been in tons of fights with his stepdad—hell, he’s been arrested for it numerous times—but Baekhyun ever once thought that his own  _father_ would hit him. And for being so…pretty?

Oh, god. It’s school all over again.

It's Baekhyun's  _worst nightmare_ all over again.

“Work. You know how men can be sometimes.” His mother zips the case up. “Things don’t go their way and they can’t provide and they lose control for a while. He’ll be okay.”

Chanyeol’s stepdad isn’t okay. This is how he started, too.

“Okay.” His mom kisses his good cheek and then leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Baekhyun grabs his kit and leaves the bathroom, hesitating for a second outside his parents’ bedroom door. All he hears is muffled talking and so he heads into his room, locking the door.

It’s late—nearly two in the morning, now, and Baekhyun can’t sleep. He’s changed and cleaned himself up a bit more but…he just can’t.

He grabs his phone off the nightstand and flips it open, thumb hovering over the number 1—Chanyeol’s speed dial. It’s really late but Chanyeol doesn’t sleep much anyway, and of course, he’s not going to _tell_ him what happened but perhaps hearing his voice will calm him down enough to sleep.

 _“Baek?”_ Baekhyun’s right—he wasn’t asleep. _“Is everything okay?”_

“Can I not call my boyfriend just because I want to?” Baekhyun rolls over in bed and pulls his blankets up to his chin. “Fine then. I guess I’ll just have to hang u—”

 _“No, no, that’s not what I meant and you know it.”_ Baekhyun laughs softly at Chanyeol's quick words.  _“Why aren’t you asleep?”_

“Couldn’t sleep” is the only explanation Baekhyun offers. “I miss you.”

 _“It’s been four hours since we last saw each other.”_ Chanyeol chuckles and then lets out a sigh. _“But I miss you too.”_

Baekhyun hums, looking out his own window. “What are you up to?”

 _“I’m_ actually  _in bed.”_

“Oh? Surprising.”

 _“Shut up.”_ Chanyeol laughs again. _“He’s officially been gone for a month. I don’t want to get too hopeful but I don’t think he’s coming back.”_

“Your mom’s safe.” Baekhyun smiles. _“You’re_ safe. I’m glad.”

 _“Me too.”_ Chanyeol lets out a tired sigh. _“But really, Baek, did something happen? You’re usually asleep by now if you’re home.”_

“Nothing…happened.” Baekhyun’s voice sort of catches and he _knows_ Chanyeol picked up on it but he ignores it and clears his throat, continuing on. “I just couldn’t sleep.”

Chanyeol pauses, debating whether or not to push but in the end, he decides not to and simply says _“is there anything I can do to help?”_

“Can you just talk to me?” Baekhyun’s voice is tight now with the effort it’s taking not to cry, not to break down and ask Chanyeol to come over because his dad _hit_ him with a beer bottle tonight and now he doesn’t even feel safe in his own home anymore— “Anything.”

 _“Anything?”_ Chanyeol settles back against the pillow with a soft hum.

“Something happy.” Baekhyun adjusts his answer. “Please.”

_“I could talk about how happy you make me.”_

Baekhyun laughs—a real laugh this time—and then shakes his head. “No, _asshole._ Tell me a story.”

 _“A story.”_ Chanyeol hums. _“How about a story about a boy who fell in love?”_

Baekhyun smiles. “This is going to be about you, isn’t it?”

 _“No spoilers.”_ Chanyeol clears his throat. _“We’re going to name this boy…Loey.”_

“How original.”

 

* * *

 

Baekhyun stands in the bathroom, leaning against the counter, looking at his face.

The hat hid it well, but it hurt too much every time he turned his head. The hood worked okay, but he had to keep his head down and he wouldn’t be able to see where he was going.

Whatever. Their school is full of people who get beat by their families. What’s one more kid? It’s not like he’ll get funny looks or anything.

Baekhyun grabs his backpack and is nearly out the door when his name is called, and he turns to face his dad.

“Baekhyun, listen, it was an honest mistake.”

Baekhyun just nods, hand on the door handle.

“You understand that, right? No need to make a big deal out of nothing.”

He nods again, muttering “I need to get to school.”

“Okay.” His dad nods. “I’ll see you later. Have a good day.”

Baekhyun can’t get out of the house fast enough.

 

* * *

 

“Baekhyun, what the _fuck_ happened?”

“Nothing.” Baekhyun hisses, shoving Jongin away.

Baekhyun. Shoving _Jongin_ of all people. Something’s _wrong._

“Your face,” Sehun speaks up. “It—”

“It’s just a _scratch_ , guys, holy fuck can you calm down?” Baekhyun grabs the hem of his hood and shields the side of his face as he heads over to Chanyeol and the others, the littles trailing behind him worriedly.

“Sunshine, hey.” Chanyeol leans down for a kiss but blinks twice when Baekhyun ignores him, crossing his arms and leaning against the lockers with a soft “hi.”

He looks up and meets Sehun’s eyes who bites his bottom lip, shrugs, and then points to his own hood.

“Baek? Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine,” Baekhyun replies quietly. “Really. Just…didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

“I know that part.” Chanyeol’s hand hovers right over Baekhyun’s hood. “What’s with the hood?”

“It’s just a hood, Chanyeol. It’s not a big deal, okay?”

“So then if I were to take it _off_ then—” Chanyeol pulls Baekhyun’s hood off and gets an eyeful of a horrible, _horrible_ red gash. _“Baekhyun what the fuck?”_

“It’s  _nothing_ , Chanyeol, it’s fine.”

 _“Fine?”_ Kyungsoo steps forward. “Baekhyun, holy fuck—you may need stitches.”

“I won’t.” Baekhyun shakes his head. “Look, it’ll be gone in a couple weeks, okay? It’s _not a big deal.”_

“No, Baek, it’s a huge _fucking deal.”_ Chanyeol grabs his chin and turns his head, looking over his cheek. “Who the fuck did this to you?”

Baekhyun swallows. “No one.”

“Baekhyun—”

“It’s no one, Chanyeol! Can’t you just drop it?” Baekhyun snaps, shaking his head out of Chanyeol’s grip and glaring up at his boyfriend.

Everyone just sort of stands there for a minute, stunned.

“Okay.” Jongdae finally says. “Okay, no big deal. We all get cut by things. Or…people.”

Baekhyun just shakes his head, and Jongdae lets out another breath. “Okay.”

The rest of the group starts all talking to each other again, Baekhyun forgotten by everyone but Chanyeol.

“Hey.” Chanyeol’s voice is low as his arm falls over Baekhyun’s shoulders. “If you don’t want to say anything in front of them, fine, but you _need_ to tell me what happened.”

Baekhyun licks over his bottom lip before biting it. “Later.”

Chanyeol nods and, when he feels Baekhyun tremble, he pulls him into his chest in a tight hug.

Baekhyun shakes even more, and more and _more_ and then he lets out a soft sort of _sob_ and that’s when Chanyeol takes his hand and pulls him in the direction of the bathroom, not bothering to tell anyone else where they were off to.

Baekhyun pulls his hood up and doesn’t raise his head, relying on Chanyeol to get him where he needs to go. He doesn’t pull his hood down until after Chanyeol growled at whoever was in the bathroom to get out and then shut and locked the main door.

“Fuck, Baekhyun, what happened?” Chanyeol drops both of their backpacks and gently lifts Baekhyun’s chin, pulling his hood down and turning his head to the side. “Don’t bullshit me. I know what a beer bottle to the face looks like and I think I’m looking at it.”

“It was just a…misunderstanding.”

“Oh?”

“Everyone’s under a lot of pressure,” Baekhyun says after a short pause. “My dad’s got a short fuse, now.”

Chanyeol freezes. “Your _dad?_ Your fucking dad did this to you?”

“It’s not a big deal,” Baekhyun assures him. “It was just once—”

“So when you called me last night, that was after this had happened?” Chanyeol doesn’t release Baekhyun’s chin, forcing him to look at him. He thumbs over his trembling lower lip. “Oh, baby. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I—” Baekhyun closes his eyes against the tears pooling. “I didn’t want to worry you.”

“You didn’t want to _worry_ me? Are you kidding?” Chanyeol’s words are harsh but his voice is soft. “Baekhyun, love, that’s not—you _know_ you can talk to me. About anything. About shit like this.”

“I  _know_ , I know, I just—” Baekhyun lets out another sob. “He’s my _dad_ , ‘Yeol. And he—he told me that I’m too _pretty_ and that his only _real_ son left and if I want to date boys and wear chokers and rings then I may as well just make myself into a _girl_ and…and—”

“Sh, baby, come here.” Chanyeol pulls Baekhyun into his chest as he starts crying and his knees give out.

He doesn’t speak after that, cradling Baekhyun’s head to his shoulder and rocking him slowly back and forth, one arm around his back holding him flush to his body because he knows that if he doesn’t then Baekhyun will _fall._

They’re in the bathroom through the first bell and most of first period, and it isn’t until almost an hour after they’d gotten in there that Baekhyun manages to calm down.

It’s then that Chanyeol scoops Baekhyun up by the backs of his thighs and sits him on the small counter, leaning him back against the mirror and then digging his little first aid kit out of his backpack.

“You’ll have to go easy on me.” Chanyeol shoots Baekhyun a shy smile. “I’m not usually the one to do this.”

Baekhyun wipes under his eyes and huffs out a sort of laugh, nodding. He watches as Chanyeol pours some antiseptic onto a piece of gauze after washing his hands and then dabs it along the cut. Baekhyun grips the edge of the counter and squeezes to keep from moving.

“You’re okay.” Chanyeol whispers, eyes on his injury. “You’ll be okay.”

Baekhyun doesn’t have to tell him which cream to use, unlike with his mom, and Chanyeol spreads it carefully and then washes his hands again.

“All done.” He tosses the kit back into Baekhyun’s backpack and the places both his hands on the counter on either side of Baekhyun’s hips. “I don’t want you going back home.”

“I don’t want to _go_ back home.” Baekhyun responds softly. “I’m _scared_ , Chanyeol.”

“I know.” Chanyeol wraps Baekhyun in his arms again, standing between Baekhyun’s legs as Baekhyun sits right on the edge of the counter, as close as he can be. “I know, sunshine. I’m going to keep you safe, okay?”

Chanyeol feels Baekhyun nod against his shoulder and he kisses his head. “Do you wanna get out of here?”

Baekhyun nods again and then looks up at Chanyeol with _those eyes_ —those eyes that are littered with tears and fear and are shaky, those eyes that Chanyeol loves. Those eyes that seem to hold the stars in broad daylight.

“Beautiful.” He whispers, grabbing Baekhyun’s chin between his thumb and forefinger to keep him from averting his eyes. “You’re still so _beautiful_ , Baekhyun.”

“Don’t—don’t lie.” Baekhyun _whimpers_ , and Chanyeol bristles. How fucking _dare_ his dad lay a hand on him?

“I’m not lying, sunshine.” Chanyeol kisses him softly. “You always look beautiful. And being beautiful isn’t a bad thing, either, nor does it make you any less of a man. Your dad is a coward with a mindset from the nineteenth century and I’ll beat the hell out of him if he says that again.”

“Don’t do that.” Baekhyun still smiles, though, and that’s what Chanyeol wanted.

To see Baekhyun smile.

He steps back. “Come on, love. Let’s go find something to do.”

It isn’t until they’d already snuck out off campus and are sitting in one of the booths of the nearest fast food place, legs tangled under the table and splitting an ice cream at ten in the morning ( _“speaking from personal experience, the best thing to eat after getting beat by a parent is ice cream—it works, I promise. It’s the ultimate feel-better food”_ ), that Baekhyun remembers the shit-show that is Chanyeol’s attendance record.

“You’re going to get summer school.” Baekhyun groans. “One more absence, ‘Yeol, that’s all you have.”

“Well then let’s make this one count,” Chanyeol pokes Baekhyun’s nose and then feeds him another bite, smiling as Baekhyun’s lips wrap around the spoon and he lets out a soft hum of approval. “Sounds like it’ll be my last skip for the month. Perhaps we can splurge on another cone?”

“Or fries.” Baekhyun’s eyes brighten, taking on that glint that Chanyeol loves so much. “I’ll pay this time—we can dip them?”

Chanyeol smiles and nods and Baekhyun fishes his wallet out of his backpack, wandering over to the counter.

Chanyeol watches him go with a fond smile, eyes raking over the whole body of this amazing man he gets to call his.

_Beautiful._

**Author's Note:**

> i'm,,,relatively still alive. i'm not dead, at least, which has to count for something, right?
> 
> it's been weird here in my real life world.
> 
> hopefully i haven't lost my touch for writing?
> 
> i missed you all and i missed writing and i miss my motivation (and i kind of miss being happy too lmao anyway)
> 
> this angsty shit is what's coming out of my depressed ass and all the shit happening in my real life rn. sorry but this is kind of all you're getting because everything i've tried to write that's fluffy ends up not fluffy.
> 
> i started a tweetfic that was supposed to be fever-ridden cuddles and ended up giving one of the characters cancer.
> 
> anyway.
> 
> come say hi to me on twitter!! [loeysxdaisies](https://twitter.com/loeysxdaises)
> 
> curious cat for those of you shy little beans (i'd still love hear from you!) [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/loeysxdaisies)


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